The party is over, the cake has been consumed, and it was an amazing day. Now I can hear my mother whispering in my ear “did you say thank you?” and the panic sets in. What’s the deal with thank you cards, anyway?

When do thank you cards need to be sent out?

The real answer: as soon as possible, with the goal being within a month of your wedding date. The answer I like better: within three months. You will still be loved by your friends and family if you run a little late, but proper etiquette is clear here – the sooner the better.

For gifts received before the wedding, you’ll need to be a bit more prompt – thank you notes for those gifts should be sent within two or three weeks.

Who needs to receive a thank you card?

Thank you cards are not just for the people who give you gifts – they are also important for those who participated in your wedding day and helped everything to run as smoothly as possible. The best advice I have received on the matter comes (again) from my mother: When in doubt, send a thank you card – you can never be too grateful.

What do I say in a thank you card?

Although the pre-printed message route is very tempting, don’t just sign your name – take the time to write something personal. Mention the gift received, plans for its use, and your genuine thanks. Also, be sure both you and your partner sign these notes. Still unsure of what to say? Check out this article from thespruce.com for some examples of thank you card wording for a variety of circumstances.

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